Commiserating with Julie

I am woefully behind on my Goodreads challenge for this year, while still being nearly 20 books ahead. Long story short, I read way too many comic books. Realizing I'm six ACTUAL books behind where I should be, I picked up my Kindle and scanned through my collection of to-reads (due to home renovations and room moving, most of my physical books are packed up and lord knows where in the house.) I couldn't remember which one came next in the Percy Jackson series, so I went with the next book to grab my eye: Julie Powell's Julie & Julia, the tale of a blogger's one-year journey through 524 Julia Child recipes. All right, I liked the movie, I like food, let's do this.

First off, let me say, Julie Powell, if you ever happen to stumble across this, you are a better woman than me. I would have chickened out the moment I saw kidneys or brains on the to-do menu while she powered through. Heck, I can't bring myself to eat lamb. They're too tiny and cute. At least with bacon, I don't know if the meat came from an adorable tiny piglet or a giant hog. Plus, Julie actually, you know, (spoiler alert) finished her challenge. I tend to be a "stop halfway" kind of person, to my shame. So as I read, I quickly came to admire this blogger (who, as another point, is also a better blogger than me, Miss "oh it's been a month, hasn't it?") I also greatly understood where she was.

When Julie decided to take on this project, she was on the edge of thirty, in a standard desk job, just living and wondering what she was doing, where she was going. She was feeling all the same things I have been while my 30th birthday crawled up and past, and she did something about it. She started this project and changed her life.

And where am I? It feels like now, I'm in her shoes. I know that's not entirely right. I've had my own projects. I've made and hit goals. I've finished novels, and I'm damn proud of that. And yet I still feel unsatisfied. I'm not published yet. My husband and I haven't taken a vacation for ourselves since our honeymoon six years ago. We don't have a dog and don't feel we're in a place to adopt one. I have... hold on. *counts* 11856 recipes on Pinterest I haven't made, on top of who knows how many in the copious cookbooks currently dwelling in boxes in our spare bedroom. I'm out of shape, I'm utterly TERRIBLE at keeping a clean house... I could keep going. Anyway, my point is, I'm following a road that's not leading me towards most of my goals as quickly as possible, and I'm not satisfied with that.

So, what am I going to do? Right now, I don't know. There are a few idea running through my head: Come up with a bunch of 1 month challenges like NaNo and the A-Z challenge, which I know I'm good at; another go at the Day Zero project, which I attempted from 2010 to 2013 and, though I ultimately failed, accomplished a whole lot; a bunch of small schedules and rewards; a challenge project like Julie's? I don't know. I'm gonna need some time to sit and think about this, talk over some things with Mister, make some long-term plans. I've already added a few small workout routines to my work calendar. I'll update when I make up my mind on what else to do.

So thank you, Julie Powell who will probably never read this, for the little nudge I needed, and for being so very relatable right when I needed it.