Monday, May 20, 2013


Moving forward towards a goal is terrifying. I'm coming to understand this more and more with each step of the writing process. I'm not even 20 posts into this blog and I keep talking about being scared. Scared to reread what I've written, scared to pick apart my draft, scared to read commentary. There are even more I haven't talked about yet. Scared of mailing the first query letter, scared of the first rejection, scared of nothing BUT rejections, scared of not being good enough to make my dream a reality...

I was scared of contacting a local author whose book of writing advice I had just finished.

I was scared I came off as a creep, or a weirdo, that I'd crossed the line when she didn't answer.

And now I'm scared of a meeting for other local writers that she's invited me to.


But I'm going to do it. It's a group for romance writers, and I'm a fantasy/sci-fi/adventure writer, but she said that's okay, so I'm still going. I'm honestly scared out of my wits about it. I'm an introvert. I still can't believe I've put myself out there like this. I probably won't completely believe it actually happened until it's done. It's exciting and scary, all the same. For the first time ever, I'll be spending time with other writers in a public setting. I won't have the comforting veil of the internet between me and them, just a table. Maybe less, I don't know how these are set up.  All these thoughts are running through my head in a jumble and it all comes back to "I'm scared".

I guess it's the uncertainty that's so frightening about moving forward. So many potentialities and no way of knowing what the end result will be. I know I can't let that stop me though. I can't achieve my ambitions without trying, and maybe failing occasionally, or making mistakes along the way. I keep telling myself that as long as I'm scared, it's means I'm moving forward, or diagonally, maybe sideways. What matters is I'm moving. I'm taking a chance. I don't know if it'll pay off or not. I won't know until June 8th. What I do know is that on June 10th, I'll have a very interesting post for you.


  1. Er...Maxwell, there some time traveling secret you've been holding out on?

    From a fellow introvert, it's gonna be just fine. :-) two pieces of advice which worked wonders for me in just such nerve-wracking situations that require socializing: 'don't panic,' and 'don't look like a tit.' Just repeat those.

    I'm not joking. They're magic!

  2. Sorry double comment, stupid Blogger. Anyway, it doesn't matter if you make mistakes, or if it doesn't lead anywhere. Think of this as a trial run, to get your feet wet kn the early stages. This way, you get used to it, so whenever something like this comes up again, you can hit the later stages of the game running. Hey, I say it's a huge success that you're going!